Staying Alive
by Hakkai
Summary: Fanfic that revolves around Domino High School's annual Halloween Fest. Very, very strange and written while I was drunk. So except randomness.


Hello there. This fanfic is about utter nonense and what someone can do with their spare time when they're drunk. Yes, Minna-sans, I was literally drunk while typing this up, so I expect absolutely zero, zinch, and zemo reviews. You know I want some though. And you know you wanna' review. - lures you in with bait -

Callbacker: I own Yu-gi-oh! and all of it's character, merchandise, and _the _Kazuki Takahashi. That's right, folks, that bitch is mine. But he can be yours for the low, low price of only 4.99, plus shipping and handling.

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"Welcome, Minna-sans," greeted Jonouchi from a polka-dotted desk at the school's entrance in front of a very intimidating crowd, "To the annual Domino High School's Halloween Fest. Be bewitched by witches, goblins, ghouls, and our very own Kazuki Takahashi. That's right - our new game, 'Pin da' Tail on da' Takahashi-Sensei' features not just one, not just two, not just three, but five little piggys running on home, where one falls off and calls his own."

"Celebration nights c'mon," sang Honda, spinning around like a maniac in his pink ritual tutu, only to be chased around by a feral Malik.

"Oh, Jonouchi, just take me!" begged Yuugi on his knees.

"Take you where?" Jonouchi smucked.

"To the Bed, Bath, and Beyond," hiccuped Yuugi, flicking a seal from his dusty eye.

"Let's get it started," flumped the Black Eyed Peas.

With no warnings on the sign, Yuugi barked like a seal, and gradually made his way to the first attraction - the Mystical House of Haunts and Aquafina Bottles. He entered the eerie atmosphere and prepared himself for the worst. Out of the depths of Hell, emerged the horrific body of a Hell-beast only seen by the naked eye.

"Might I interest you in my silk tiger-striped G-string?" pondered John Goodman.

"Well, I can't say that I'm not interested, but-" without warning, Yuugi ran to the next atrousity.

"Oh my," Mulder lifted a finger to his chin as the X-Files theme began playing. He stared deeply into Yuugi's lavender eyes. "What have we here, Scully?"

Scully pondered for a minute, lifting an octopus out of her shoe. She nodded quietly before answering, "I'd say it's none other than Yuugiotlopticolusholemus Ukeus Maximus Sparticus Uyoikmus Lytomus Tricerotopus Caesar."

"Did somebody say my name?" Julius Caesar poured down from the Heavens, showering the room with glitters of Pocky.

"Say my name, say my name," sang John Goodman.

"All things must come to an e-a-e-end," stuttered Ansem, "And all so end. That is the will of the Merciful Goddess."

"Oh me?" giggled Sephiroth, prancing on into the room, like a pony, "Because I know something you don't know."

"And I know something you don't know," John told Jim Carrey.

"And I know something you don't know," Jim told Jane.

"I'm Sparticus," announced Caesar.

"I'm Sparticus," announced Scully.

"I'm Sparticus," announced Mulder.

"I'm Mickey Mouse," announced Mickey.

"And I'm Woody," said a vacant shark.

"Mind if I join you?" questioned Michael Jackson.

The room was filled with a sudden silence. Everyone knew that all manic-ness was about to break loose. Everything that was once sane and beautiful would die. And so it did.

"Can't touch me," Peter Griffin smirked as flew around in the air in circles, while below people threw themselves out of the haunted house's windows and doors. The only one left was Michael Jackson and him. And you know what that means. Don't you? I bet you do. Or maybe you don't.

"Whew," breathed Yuugi. "Damn' that was hot." He was finally out of the cauldron... and into the cellar.

"You know what?" Honda began.

"What?" muttered Anzu.

"I think we should end this Chapter now, and make it a short one."

Then the world exploded, and plant matter grew once again into the depths of Takahashi-sensei's head. But only until his next marriage lived. And the one after that.

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Makes no sense what-so-ever. o.O So review.


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